Life in itself is about going through stages.
Let's just bear in mind that our children go through their own life stages as well. Although as parents, we often times wish that our children are precocious, such as to know more than what they should, to learn more than what they can and to be more than what they are, it may not necessarily be good for them.
Actually, I feel that, as parents, we can be so prideful, so vain. Sometimes, we like to "show off" what our children can do and can be. Let us not feed our pride at the expense of our dearest possessions.
Some of you may think that I am old school, but personally, I feel that children should be allowed to develop at their pace. As parents, our primary responsibility is to identify and look out for their talents and interest. It will be wise to treat ourselves as facilitators of growth rather than parents who push our expectations down the throat of our children, whatever their age. Yet, having said that, it doesn't mean that we have to just let them be.
I have also previously mentioned in my personal blog that my biggest regret was to "force" my daughter to go for her piano grade 7 exam although she did not really have a passion for it. I wanted her to get her grade 7 just so that she could enter Raffles Girls' Secondary School, the top girl school in Singapore through a Direct School Admission exercise. In fact, we invested so much money in buying a U2 Yamaha Piano, yet in the end we had to give it away to a close relative. I came to the realization that I was basically "chasing the wind". Here's a reminder to all of us who call ourselves responsible parents, that if we choose to chase the wind, let's not do it at the expense of our own children. Do we realize that they are at our mercy, as they did not choose to be in this world but we are the ones who have decided to bring them here?
Making responsible choices is about truly understanding your children. It is about understanding them, it is not about you. Perhaps it is about time we ask ourselves if the pace we wish for them to grow, is what is best for their wholesome development?
Recently, I made a comment in my tweet that I am an Asian Tiger Mum with a North American style. So, what am I trying to say? Am I a perfect mum? Not so. I am just saying that I will strike a balance. I will still be strict but I will only watch them from the side. I will not indulge in them too much by over-providing but I'll certainly be there for them.
Selling education is my profession. Yet, it is not about selling. It is about what my clients really need that will benefit them, that matters most to me. I want my client to remember me for helping them with their choices for their children. I in turn want them to know that it is also not about them when they decide to move their children to Canada. It is about what is good for their children.
Lastly, I want to say that in general, society highly respects doctors, lawyers and accountants as these are the occupations that most parents would have their children working towards. But allow me to end off by asking this thought-provoking question - would we rather have a son who is a firefighter who comes back to visit us and care for us when we are old or a son who is a lawyer whose wants outweighs his parents' basic needs? I am not suggesting that we have to depend on our sons. But what I'm asking is - in which situation is he better off?
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